Bosoms & Books
Before you straighten up in your chair and think to yourself, "Oooh, suddenly he's decided to post illicit pictures on here!", consider the following disclaimer: these are my bosoms we're talking about. Yes, I admit I don't exactly have what could be termed as 'bosoms', since they're more pectorals and they're quite manly pecs at that. But that would kill the snazzy alliteration used in the title of this little bit of nowhere, and I somehow don't think that "Pecs & Pages" has quite the same ring to it.
So why are we going on about my pecs? Or more specifically, why am I going on about my pecs. Well, if you hadn't already noticed the rampant narcissism in the last paragraph, I'm quite fond & pround of the manliness that are my pecs. So you can imagine the consternation I felt when I nearly lost one of my nipples while playing around with Shady. In Shady's defense, she really didn't know better and was just trying to viciously throttle the sock I had dancing around in front of her. However, when a small dog takes a flying leap at your chest, misses the sock completely and winds up running her rather pointy claws down your chest, you tend to notice the pain quite immediately. One claw in particular had targetted my left nipple.
I'm just relieved she doesn't have talons like a cat or a hawk, otherwise she'd have probably lobbed my poor nipple right off! I don't want to go around being known as the guy with only one nipple. I'm not even sure it could get surgically reattached without looking like I'd been in some sort of deranged "So are you up for a Darwin Award now?"
accident. Which does beg the question as to whether or not there are such things as prosthetic nipples. I'm sure there must be, in some tangible form out there. But are they metal or a polymer plastic? Can they be easily detached or just pop right off and land in someone's drink if they don't happen to be fastened down right (and you happen to be going topless at said party)? Would people treat it like some do a glass eye? "Come on, man, do the trick with your nipple! It's so cool. You've gotta see this, guys! He looks so freaky when he pops it off!"
The world may never know. Perhaps it isn't ready for something as revolutionary as this.
In other news that have absolutely nothing to do with nipples or my manly pecs, I found this quirky little news article about a library of unwritten books. Personally I find it encouraging to hear of a project like this, and laugh because this is the sort of strange collection I'd love to amass myself--not of my own works, mind you, but just for whenever I'm at a party and people as what I do for hobbies, I could say, "I collect only half-completed and unwritten books."
Library features books that have yet to be written
Last Updated Tue, 03 Aug 2004 15:01:04 EDT PORTSMOUTH - An exhibit at a gallery in Britain is a showcase for books with titles like One-Eyed Olaf, The Man Who Was Addicted to Seeing, Poke the Pig and Scrumping in Persia.
But unlike normal books, these ones have yet to be written. They are ideas for books that will probably never be realized.
The project, called the Library of Unwritten Books, is the brainchild of Sam Brown and Caroline Jupp, who have been travelling around Britain collecting tales from ordinary people they meet on the street.
Using a converted shopping cart that doubles as their "mobile recording unit," the pair ask strangers if they have any ideas for books. They then convert each narrative kernel into a précis only a few pages in length.
They have already collected more than 400 stories this way in the last two years and plan to find a total of 1,000.
The exhibit, currently on display at the Aspex Gallery in Portsmouth, features fantasies as well as non-fiction "books."
Some are based on family history, like the one from the woman who told a story about her father, who served in the British navy in the 1800s. Her mother was originally engaged to another man, who went off to war and was presumed killed in action.
Her mother married a different man, only to have the original fiancé come back alive.
"I think there's so much potential, there really is," Jupp told an online correspondent for the BBC. "But a lot of people just don't have the skill or the time – that very specific ability that it takes to write a book."
The inspiration for the exhibit came from the library of unpublished books in the Richard Brautigan novel The Abortion, and Jupp and Brown admit that many of their books will likely never get off the ground.
"Unwritten books are different to the books that they would write," Brown told the BBC. "A good unwritten book doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be a good written book."
The actual link for the news article can be found here, for those curious:
http://sympatico.msn.cbc.ca/story/arts/national/2004/08/03/Arts/book040803.html
Today's Memo to Self: trim Shady's claws.
posted by Phillip at 5:44 AM
